Well it's 12 midnight and I can't sleep. When the lights go out my mind starts to think of all those things that in the day I can distract myself from. They literally come pouring in. Al lies beside me with seemingly no worries but not me! I think of all the bills that I have to pay tomorrow, payday has finally arrived. I think of my grandchildren and why they are soooo far away from me. I think of my own children and al the mistakes tht I made with them. I think of my sisters and the relationships that I have with them or don't have with them. I think of my mum and how we don't talk anymore. All this goes round and round. I draw no conclusions or have any great epiphanies, just thoughts.
I try reading, picturing each feature of my grandies, constructing a quilt, writing letters of gratutude to my grandies etc. Each has its own reward but still no sleep comes. So now I turn to the blog to see if bearing my soul will help. I will let you know sometime.
hey, lovey...
ReplyDeletei know what you mean. sometimes my brain runs like a hamster on a wheel. a squeaky one at that; very distracting, impossible to ignore. the blog thing is great - sometimes you just have to get it out there... somewhere. but when things were particularly "squeaky", and not really for public bearing, i would write to dad. just a big old long scrawl of words and thoughts - some of them i kept. many were just for venting, and ended up in the shredder. it really did help - dad's a very good listener, it turns out! :)
i love you - call me - i'm a really good listener too...
your a great mum and an even better Grammy! so PLEASE wipe those of the worry list :) love you xxx
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Georgia! xox
ReplyDeleteWhen I am lying awake tonight cos I can't sleep, your thoughts will be in my thoughts and I will take comfort in them. I too can share the same roundabout of mixed emotions in the silence of sleep time! I miss you Gerry:) still hope we can still have a good Chinwag on the 7th. Will check with the girls and email you soon. Hope you are going well. Xxx
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